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Showing posts from May, 2006

Coffee and Chaos (Apocalypse)

I’m now only a part of what still remains - a ghost of our glorious discontent and decadence.

After the break-up, after my spirit broke, I’m reduced to a flesh pulp ready for carnage. I’m nothing but a broken rock now, continuously hammered and pounded by guilt. Now, it’s just me and my painful remembering. Seems like I’m living transiently in this plane of existence - somewhat here but not really here, somewhat absent but not quite also.

Every time I think of you I go deeper and deeper into the abyss, nearer and nearer to the fiery gates of hell. Every passing second, I’m free-falling through nothingness and emptiness, lamenting to a lost love, living in the past, dying in the moment, cursing and cursing and cursing…
Ahh... Quiero morir ahora mismo! a

It appears the drugs don’t work anymore. It can’t ease the hurt. It can’t erase the bitterness. I can’t make myself numb. The pain of longing, like a leech, simply would not go away. It seems these pills - paracetamols, ibuprofens, prozacs…