If five or more of the following signs are true for you, you may be in need of hedonistic intervention. It is advised that you immediately turn off all electronic devices and lie down.
1- You no longer remember anyone's phone number because they're all programmed into your cell phone.
2- You instant message people at work who are seated within twenty feet of you.
3- You make itineraries for your vacations.
4- The idea of a full week without internet access fills you with terror.
5- You are bored at home if the television isn't on.
6- You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the world isn't ending.
7- You regularly watch sitcom reruns that you have seen countless times before.
8- You are unable to sit still and think in silence.
9- Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own.
10- You buy shoes because they match your iPad.
~The Hedonism Handbook